Postnatal depression, otherwise known as postpartum depression doesn’t always look like what people expect. It’s not always tears or sadness. Sometimes, it looks like a smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes. Or a mother who’s keeping everything together on the outside, while quietly unravelling on the inside.
When I went through it, I didn’t even realise what was happening at first. I thought I was just tired. Just overwhelmed. Just needing to try a little harder. But the truth was, I wasn’t okay.
The Pressure to “Bounce Back”
There’s this unspoken pressure on new mothers to get back to “normal” as quickly as possible. To look like themselves. To work like they used to. To not let the baby “slow them down.” But life after birth is not about bouncing back. It’s about adjusting to a completely new normal.
I found myself feeling guilty for not feeling more joyful. I loved my baby deeply, but I felt disconnected from myself. And I didn’t want to talk about it, because I feared it would sound like I was ungrateful or becoming a monster.
You’re Not a Bad Mother. You’re a Mother Who Needs Support.
That’s the part we don’t say enough. Postnatal depression and postpartum depression are not signs of failure. They’re signs that something inside you needs healing. And healing takes time. It takes understanding. It takes safe spaces where you don’t have to pretend. Evertime I thought about the way I was feeling I worried that someone would try to take my baby from me.
If you’re reading this and you’re in that space right now, please know that you’re not alone. You’re not invisible. And it’s okay to ask for help. I did, and it changed everything.
To Those Around Her
If you’re working with a colleague or managing someone who recently had a baby, just know that she might be going through more than she lets on. You don’t have to fix anything. Just be kind. Be gentle. Be patient.
And if you are that mother, trying to put one foot in front of the other, I see you. Keep going. You are not broken. You are becoming.