There’s a difference between being tired and being utterly depleted. I remember waking up already exhausted. It wasn’t from a lack of sleep alone. It was the emotional weight of trying to keep it all together. Feeding schedules, deadlines, expectations, and the constant pressure to smile through it all. I wasn’t just tired. I felt like I was slowly sinking.
When a mother returns to work after maternity leave, she often walks into the office wearing two layers of armour. The first is professional. She wants to prove she’s still capable, still driven, still “on it.” The second is emotional. She doesn’t want anyone to see the cracks.
Treading Water While Carrying a Load
It can look like she’s managing. She’s replying to emails, attending meetings, meeting deadlines. But underneath, she may be struggling to stay afloat. Every small setback feels amplified. Every unkind comment hits harder. And often, no one sees it. Because she’s mastered the art of pushing through.
I know what it feels like to walk into a bathroom, lock the door, and let out silent tears before composing yourself and heading back to your desk. It’s not weakness. It’s survival.
What Support Can Look Like in This Season
We don’t need to have all the answers, but we can offer a lifeline in ways that really matter. Here are a few small things that helped me, and may help someone else:
- Gentle Check-Ins: A quiet message after a meeting or a quick coffee catch-up can make her feel less alone.
- Flexible Expectations: If possible, give her some breathing room. Not forever, just while she regains her rhythm.
- Celebrate the Small Wins: Acknowledge her efforts. Sometimes just being there is a huge win.
- Respect Her Boundaries: She may not want to talk. That’s okay too. Just let her know the door is open.
- Avoid “Just Sleep More” Advice: Well-meaning suggestions can sometimes feel dismissive. Rather say, “You’re doing so well,” or “I see how hard you’re trying.”
When someone is trying not to drown, they don’t need to be told to swim harder. They need someone to notice. To offer a steady hand. To remind them they’re not alone.
We don’t always know what someone is going through behind that brave face. But if we take a moment to really see them, we might be the reason they keep going.