What Happens When You Ignore a Cry for Help?
There’s a moment that still lives in the back of my mind. I was sitting on the floor of my baby’s room, surrounded by nappies, bottles, and an overwhelming sense of failure. I was doing everything “right” on the outside. But inside, I felt like I was disappearing. And I didn’t know how to ask for help.
Many mothers returning to work after maternity leave carry this weight. But because they don’t want to appear weak or incapable, they put on a brave face. And while we might think everything’s fine because she’s smiling in the morning meeting, the truth might be very different.
The Ripple Effect of Ignoring Postnatal Depression
Postnatal depression doesn’t just affect the mother. It can ripple into every area of her life. At home, relationships may become strained. At work, focus and performance can take a knock. And without intervention, it can linger far longer than we realise.
What happens when that cry for help is missed? Sometimes nothing dramatic. No outburst. No breakdown. Just quiet withdrawal. Missed deadlines. Shorter tempers. And eventually, a resignation letter.
I’ve seen bright, capable women leave jobs they loved because they felt unsupported. And I’ve also seen what happens when someone leans in and says, “You don’t have to do this alone.”
Simple Acts That Make a Big Difference
You don’t have to be a therapist to make a difference. Here are some ways we can all show up better:
- Check In, Don’t Check Out: A simple “How are you really doing?” can open a door that’s been locked tight for weeks.
- Be Willing to Listen: Sometimes just listening without trying to fix the problem is all someone needs to feel seen.
- Don’t Assume Silence Means Strength: Just because she isn’t crying doesn’t mean she’s okay. Be sensitive to subtle shifts in behaviour or mood.
- Encourage Rest, Not Overwork: A mother pushing herself too hard might be trying to prove she’s still valuable. Remind her she already is.
- Offer Support, Not Solutions: Let her know about the resources available and give her space to take the next step when she’s ready.
Supporting a mother through postnatal depression doesn’t require grand gestures. Often, it’s the quiet, consistent ones that mean the most. When someone is battling silently, just knowing they’re not invisible can be the turning point.
I’ve come to believe that empathy is one of the most powerful tools we have in the workplace. And if we use it well, we won’t just keep great people, we’ll help them heal too.